The Road Goes Ever On and On
by LRoseC
Summary: "I've had too many years laddie, more than my share when there's so few spared for the likes of you." Let's mend our broken hearts, shall we? Kili talks with Fili after their untimely deaths. Good for those currently heartbroken over the way they died in the movie. Therapeutic family feels & Tolkien references. It helped me to write it, so I hope it helps you to read it. *Updated*


_*SPOILERS* Duh._

_Okay, so I just needed to write this. I needed to get that terrible ache that BotFA left in my chest. Fili just...he just died and no one really seemed to care that much. PJ gave those characters more of a rounding out than Tolkien did, but if there was one thing that Tolkien made sure of PJ seemed to miss is that Thorin, Fili, and Kili are a family. One that was so loyal that they ended up dying trying to defend each other._

_I wanted to get the feels off my chest and bridge the movie and the book a little better, since I think they're both wonderful on their own but not so much together._

_(Rant: Also, I really hated the whole Tauriel and Kili thing up until her last monologue. I was all ready for someone to just stab her and end that sorry excuse for a love story and then she had to go and get all heartbreaking in the last scene. I mean, ugh on the love triangle still, but she really broke me down regardless. Therefor, despite my original plan for this, Tauriel keeps her pulse. I've simply banished her into more a subplot then the one they had already shoehorned her into.)_

_I hope that this helps you guys overcome that insanely painful heartbreak that only a fictional death can achieve. Know I understand you, and here's a *hug* to help you on your way._

_(And to those following my Goblin Fever and the Greyflood story, don't worry. New chapter will be up today! I just couldn't finish it with this story sitting like an 8 ton brick on my chest. Sorry!)_

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><p>"Fíli."<p>

Fíli's felt the sensation of slipping into cool water. It had been dark…

"Brother."

Fíli's eyes opened fully to find Kíli staring down at him with a somber smile. His little brother, his _reckless_ brother. What was going on?

"You're confused."

Fíli scoffed and pushed himself up from the snowy ground. Kíli gave him just enough room, kneeling down himself. "I understand why you would be. You died so quickly, I don't think you really had time to grasp it."

Fíli felt an icy pang in his heart. His hand went to his chest to find it beating just as it always had. A reliable, steady cadence.

So how could he be dead?

"Explain."

_Why was speaking so difficult? _

Kíli's lips tightened and his eyes were sad. "You were captured by Azog. He killed you in front of us and threw you over the cliff."

"I…didn't…mean me," Fíli struggled. It was like trying to speak through a broken jaw. "I m…meant you."

"I was killed by Bolg not long after," Kíli replied, his brother's selflessness not lost on him now.

"How?"

"Avenging you, mostly," Kíli grinned, "And trying to save Tauriel."

Fíli rolled his eyes. "You died…because…of an _elf?"_

Kíli laughed, a hint of bitterness finding it's way in. "I always was a reckless fool."

"You're…not a fool," Fíli ground out, "Just…you love too…too much, Kíli," Fíli reached out and put a hand on his brother's shoulder. "Too much for your…own good." Kíli's responding laugh sounded more like a candle flickering out as he buried his face into Fíli's hand.

"It's your turn to explain yourself, you know," Kíli said after some time. "We're not going anywhere until our marching party has assembled."

"Marching party?"

Kíli sobered, casting his eyes out at the great mountains around them. "I'm afraid I don't want to make this walk alone, and no doubt there are more to join us before the end." Kíli's eyes returned to his brother. "And I've been told I'm prone to wander."

Fíli nodded, agreeing with this. It was odd, how whatever was ahead felt like just as much of an adventure as the one that brought them to it.

"Now explain."

Fíli opened his mouth, when suddenly their attention diverted to the bludgeoned figure of Dwalin emerging from the icy wind. Kíli took Fíli by the arms and dragged him back, revealing his broken body cast upon the ice. Dwalin dropped to his knees beside it, his axe and hammer forgotten at his side.

"Oh laddie," Dwalin whispered, pulling Fíli into his arms. The great warrior bowed his head and laid it to rest on Fíli's forehead as tears rolled from his eyes onto the fallen prince's face. "Oh you poor lad."

Fíli watched in stunned silence from Kíli's arms. "You didn't deserve this," Dwalin wept in his privacy, "You deserved life more than most of us have a claim to it." The weathered dwarf placed a hand over Fíli's face, closing his eyes gently so that the young prince could be merely sleeping.

_I look peaceful._

"All the years I've lived, I'd give them to you I swear it."

_Dwalin…_

Kíli must have sensed Fíli's heart breaking because he held his brother tighter. Fíli felt tears on his face as he observed this…this bitter departure in the arms of his family. Dwalin, who taught him to fight. Who taught him to have courage, who _gave _him courage simply by being near.

And now he was saying good-bye.

Dwalin wiped his eyes and sucked in a deep breath, his hand forming a fist over Fíli's heart that—in that world—no longer beat. The battle called, so he laid the prince upon the ice with his arms folded over his chest and his sword over his heart.

"I've had _too many_ years laddie, more than my share when there's so few spared for the likes of you."

And with that, Dwalin picked up his weapons and was gone.

Kíli rubbed Fíli's arm to remind him that he was still there. Watching his friends say good-bye left him feeling rather…hollowed out. But the new form he was embodying felt fuller now, and he found that he was able to speak without problem.

"This is awful, Kíli."

"I know." Kíli rested his head to Fíli's shoulder. "But they cared, brother. They really did love you more than you could ever know. Watching you die was the most helpless moment in their lives. And mine."

"I'm sorry it had to happen the way it did," Fíli sighed, pulling away so that he could face his brother.

"We should have died together, you know. But you went down that tunnel alone to protect me," Kíli said, giving him a stern look. "You knew something was wrong."

Guilt rose to the surface of Fíli's emotions. But he wasn't sorry in the least.

"I always meant to protect you."

Kíli smiled, but _refused_ to let Fíli off so easily. "But what I don't understand is—what happened to all of your knives? How were you not able to fight them off?"

"Kee there were hundreds of those creatures flooding the tunnels," Fíli defended, "What happened to my knives? I _used _them, that's what happened! I killed more than I'd ever done before. I sunk one so deep into Azog that it disappeared! But…"

"But what?"

Fíli sighed, cursing himself for letting it slip. "I was outnumbered. They…Azog broke my arms and legs before he dragged me out of that tunnel. I knew it was over long before that blade ever entered my body."

"I didn't hear a thing!"

"I know," Fíli felt uncomfortable sharing his last moments, but they came pouring from his mouth regardless. "I didn't want to bring you into it. I wanted you to be safe." Anger boiled up in the blonde dwarf's chest then, as he remembered the pain of his last moments. The small figure of Thorin, Dwalin, and Bilbo in the snow. Knowing his brother was beneath him, watching. Azog's grip had been strangling him, and yet with all his might he uttered a single word before he died.

"I told you to _run_," Fíli said in a low voice, "I told you to run and you didn't listen."

"It's not in my blood to run away from a fight," Kíli answered, guilt splaying across his features.

"I was trying to warn you that there were _more_ of them coming! Not to flee the battle but to at least be prepared!"

"I heeded you Fíli," Kíli assured him, resting a hand on his shoulder. "But I simply didn't run in the direction you wanted me to. Do you really expect anything less from me?"

Fíli sighed, his anger barely faltering. "No, I suppose not."

Kíli connected their foreheads, knowing that his brother was beginning to turn on himself. "It's not your fault."

"I meant to protect you," Fíli shook, "You were supposed to live on for us."

"My world was over the moment your body struck the ground, Fee. I…I know I didn't linger. I took one look at you and...I regret to say that I ran just as you told me to. But I had to fight…I couldn't face what I'd just seen."

"Nadadith…"

"I can see now how you've been trying to protect me this whole time," the younger interrupted, "And I've been selfish, brother. I was a child, caught up in an impossible love. Too blind by adventure and heroism that I neglected to notice just how much you were truly there for me. How much you gave up for my sake. And in the end you have your very life, your very _last words _to try and save me. But my brother, had you lived…You would have made the perfect king—loyal and brave. Your heart too big for its own good…Your _uncanny_ ability to level a room without so much as a single word."

"Kee…"

"You never had to say much to make yourself heard. And there I was, your absurd little brother that for some reason you loved enough to put before yourself. I'll never be able to repay you for that, brother. But I want you to know that _I _know how mighty you truly are."

"Kíli, stop."

Kíli looked Fíli directly in the eyes, with no hint of jest in his eyes and no smile at the corners of his mouth. "You've been my hero from the moment I could walk. And my only regret was that I didn't tell you sooner."

Fíli didn't know what to say. Kíli had always been better at sharing his heart.

"I love you," Fíli eventually said, "And it's been the highlight of my life trying to keep you upright, nadadith."

Kíli laughed, his smile wide and untainted by the horrors of the life they'd known before. Fíli allowed a smile to break over his face as well. This was all simply so strange. Then Kíli stood, procuring his hand to help Fíli up.

"I believe it's nearly time to go."

"So we just leave our bodies here then? Just like that?"

"We could stay for the funeral, I suppose," Kíli shrugged, regarding the icy rocks around them. "But yes, I believe we go from here as we presently are."

Fíli nodded, placing a hand over his chest.

"Any idea as to why my heart is beating?"

"Mine is too," Kíli laughed, placing his palm to his chest. "I wonder—"

"I imagine you'll need them for the journey to come."

The boys started at the voice, turning to find Thorin standing a small distance away with a calm smile on his face.

"Uncle!"

Kíli was quick to embrace his fallen king and Fíli couldn't help but laugh at how well his brother was taking to his death. Thorin embraced his younger nephew with a gentle laugh.

"Kíli, I regret to see you here amongst us, though I can't say I'm surprised. You always had too much heart to survive on a battlefield."

The young dwarf gave him an indignant look, which only made the elder dwarf laugh. "It's not a bad thing, Kíli. You had such courage in the way that you could smile in the darkest of times. It simply makes your death all the more tragic…This world would be better off with more people of your disposition within it."

Kíli's brows furrowed and Fíli looked away, suddenly feeling like an intruder in his kin's private moment. He didn't realize then that Thorin had approached him until a firm hand gripped his shoulder.

"Brave Fíli. I'm so proud of the dwarf that you've become. Your loyalty and genuine heart shone through til the end. You would have made a better king then I ever could have."

Fíli looked at his uncle in surprise. "That's not true, Uncle."

Suddenly the realization that his beloved uncle, his father figure, perished hit Fíli square in the chest. Tears rolled down his face again and he was useless to hide them. Thorin gave him a comforting smile and pressed his forehead to his.

"I will not say do not weep, for not all tears are an evil."

Thorin broke their embrace and allowed Kíli to join them. Their uncle smiled at them with warmth that they hadn't seen in years. "Here we are. I imagine we've left a trail of tears in our wake, but do not mourn for our friends, lads. Their time in this world is mercifully brief, and time will mend all matters of wounds."

The boys beamed at their uncle, the weight of the world they'd left beginning to leave their shoulders.

"I regret only that we wander this journey so soon in your lives. But…perhaps it's time that the Durinfolk leave behind the world with its gold and ill-begotten riches. The halls that wait for us at the end of this journey, I imagine, contain many different kinds of wonders."

"So that's it then?" Kíli sighed, his face still sporting a courageous smile. "Now we leave Erebor behind to our mother and Dain? We just leave all the gold that we once desired to lose ourselves in our wanderings into the Great Unknown?"

"As Dis would say," Thorin said, "All that is gold does not glitter."

"And not all who wander are lost," Fíli finished.

And with that, the three of them turned and began to walk Westward, their feet suddenly sure of the path despite there being no road. Silently they walked past their friends who had gathered at Thorin's body; with tears in their eyes and the shattered pieces of their hearts scattered over the ice. Past Oin and Gloin, who were preparing Fili's body to be carried back to Erabor. Past Bofur, who was collecting Kíli's body from Tauriel so that it could be reunited with his family.

The line of Durin marched on, knowing that in time, they would return for each of their friends to guide them on this new journey. They would greet them all with open arms and warm smiles when the end did come. For some, it would be in a few years short years. For others, like the long-living Dwalin, it wouldn't be for another one hundred and seventy. And for one _peculiar_ hobbit, they never had to come at all. For he came to them on a silver ship before they ever made the journey.

But until then, they would continue on their greatest adventure together. Not knowing what lies ahead, nor the obstacles they'd encounter or the treasures they would witness. They had each other. And thanks to a dear friend, they had a song for their treading.

And that was enough.

_The Road goes ever on and on_  
><em>Down from the door where it began.<em>  
><em>Now far ahead the Road has gone,<em>  
><em>And I must follow, if I can,<em>  
><em>Pursuing it with eager feet,<em>  
><em>Until it joins some larger way<em>  
><em>Where many paths and errands meet.<em>

_And whither then? I cannot say._

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><p>*More hugs*<p> 


End file.
